Celebration and Loss

from bottom right to upper left

Roberta Ann, Rosalee (Pinky), Robert, Regina (Gigi), Rochelle (Shelley), Rita, Richard (Mike), Robin, Ronald (Patrick), Renee, Roxana, Rhonda, Raeleen, Roch, Ralinda, Rex and Randoloph (Sean)

I married into a huge Irish Catholic family!  My husband is the youngest of 17 children.  Being a part of this family is a once in a lifetime experience all in and of itself.  I continue to learn all the time, that celebration and loss are just a heartbeat apart.

Lisa and Sean 6/24/95

Grandma Roberta

Sean and I celebrated our 15th Wedding Anniversary this past June 24th.  15 years ago, as we were celebrating and joyously planning to become husband and wife, we also had to say goodbye and mourn the loss of my husband's Mother, Roberta Hickey.  She passed away on Father's Day, just one week before our wedding.  It was very difficult and yet this family came together and celebrated her life and our marriage, like nothing I had ever known.  It was a tremendous celebration!

Six years ago, as we started getting ready to celebrate our oldest son, Tristan's entry into elementary school and his kindergarten year; and all the fun that was to come, again we had to mourn the loss of my dearest sister-in law, Rita.  She was the closest thing to a Grandmother my kids had on their Dad's side.  She is dearly, dearly missed every single day by Sean and I and our boys.  I knew that my family's world had changed forever the day she gained her wings.

Aunt Rita and Tristan

This past weekend as our family celebrated the awesome victory of our youngest son, Nathan, at the California State Championship Mountain Bike race in Big Bear, we also mourned the loss of one of my husband's oldest brother's, Patrick.  Patrick had a long hard battle with drug addiction and prison life.  He was the middle child of 17 siblings.   "Eight above, Eight below.  How I go, the rest go."

Nate Dog, the California State Champion Jrs. 10 & Under! 

Ronald Patrick Hickey

I am especially proud and thankful for my sister-in law, Shelley.  She has worked so very hard to help Patrick gain his freedom from all the addiction and incarceration.  Just a week or so ago Shelley posted this on facebook:   "Pat gets out of prison July 12th. I am feeling how he has no one except Chuck and me. I know this is his last chance to live in freedom. He will attend my reading performance on July 30th. I hope he will hear his own powerful words in a way that makes it clear that his work is done, he simply needs to implement what he... has already accomplished. This has been a very long road."

Patrick and Shelley

This reading performance that Shelley refers to, "is the product of her work in family mythology and self-discovery. Beginning with the question "What was it like for you to be part of our family?", she collected oral histories from her seventeen siblings and turned them into first person narratives. These memories are stitched into a dialogue between one incarcerated brother and a silenced sister. Dr. Duffy's work demonstrates both the power of memory and dream to ignite voice and transform spirit, as expressed in her reading performance of  Prison Is Where I Learned to Fly: Shelley's Sibliography."  

Click hear to read the informaiton regarding Shelley's talk at C.G. Jung Institute of Los Angeles:
http://www.junginla.org/t/publicprograms/2010/summer/month/july/p/shelleys-sibliography-releasing-the-incarcerated-voice-through-memory-imagination-and-dialogue

I will write more about Nathan's State Championship victory on his mountain bike later this week, but for now, I'm just going to say - I'm happy we had a couple of Sean's siblings with us at the race.  It made the bittersweet emotions of the day much more sweet all around.

Nathan with cousin Adam and Uncle Roch

Nathan with Aunt Raeleen

Nathan with cousins Leland, Ethan, Adam, Beckham and Abel

Nathan and cousin Christina

I am so proud of my family!  I know that quit a bit of the spirit that lives within my boys, comes from the "Hickey" side of the family.  The zest for life.  The energy.  The CELEBRATION!

Nathan and Tristan with Uncle Pat

Love, Lisa